A Breakable Diamond
by Pyreflies Painter
Summary: When an idea sparks, it is hard to forget them. Then, curiosity takes hold of us, making us a puppet. Tessa Gray had an idea. She had an idea on how to find out the truth about William Herondale. The truth about his life and his past.


**A/N: Okay, I've had this idea. So I wrote it down. **

**Thanks for clicking on this fanfic to read! I am so honoured! I hope you like this!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Cassandra Clare.**

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><p>-A Breakable Diamond-<p>

A dreadful silence has descended upon the Institute on the following days after their conversation in the attic. It felt like a curse to Theresa Gray.

It was silent because they were all- except Jessamine whose only concern is keeping herself away from their woe -having problems. Charlotte had to stop Benedict Lightwood from taking the Institute or else, Tessa shall be left to fend for herself. Left to Mortmain whom they are all still trying in vain to find and stop before he could create an irreversible war between Heaven and Earth.

Meanwhile, Henry poured every ounce of mental and physical labour he had into discovering the secrets to the clockwork machines. He was doing this because Tessa knew he wanted to prove himself worthy. It was also because their chances of winning against Mortmain rested upon unlocking the answers to how he had created his clockwork army.

Other than these matters involving Mortmain and Benedict Lightwood, there were also more important affairs. Jem is looking more ill by the day and no matter how hard he tries to hide it, they would still see it in the way the shadows under his eyes are becoming more pronounced and how he had to consume more of the demon drug in order to keep him alive. It was also evident in the screams haunting the Institute at night. The screams that kept her up helping him. The screams that shook her spirits, reminding her that Jem could die right then. But he hasn't died yet and that was a comforting thing. Although, it was still terrifying because she knew that, one day, he will disappear.

Jem isn't the only one suffering. Sophie was too. These days, Tessa rarely sees her and the shapeshifter assumed that she was using her work as a form of refuge from her grief at Agatha and Thomas' loss. She was also using to forget Jem's problem which affected her as much as it affected Tessa and Will.

Speaking of Will, he had also befallen onto a strange behaviour nowadays. He would still speak with the same arrogance and impertinent tone he always had, but he would disappear after breakfast and come back just in time for dinner every night, claiming that it was none of their business where he had gone to. Then, when things got really bad, he would not come back until after dinner and he would be drunk and would head to his bedroom instantly. This new pattern of his troubled her, but she tried- and she tried very hard -not to care especially after what he said to her that night in the attic.

And that was the start of _her_ problems.

She avoided him. She did this with so much determination that she hadn't even looked at him at the table. Worse. She hadn't talked to him and that was what terrified her. Tessa didn't know how long it would go for, but she truly wished that they would talk. She also wished that he could tell her the truth. Deep inside her, she is wounded. He was a diamond. Beautiful, but strong and surprisingly deadly. And she, she was vulnerable and- to his eyes -unimportant. Like a piece of dirty cloth.

This problem was the one that troubled her the most and it surprised her how insignificant it was compared to the rest of their problems. She felt selfish. Tessa felt so selfish that she wanted to fix her problem. Although, she wasn't so sure how to fix it due to the complexity and delicateness of the problem.

Until that morning.

A flame of an idea kindled at the back of her mind. Then, the small flame grew and soon, it burned in her mind like a raging fire waiting to be put out by her actions. The idea was so ingenious and unrelenting that Tessa had found herself half-walking, half-jogging to Will's personal quarters, keeping close to the shadows made by the setting sun. Curiosity has made her a puppet against her sensibility and common sense.

She would do this quickly. Tessa knew it won't take longer than a few minutes. However, she knew it would be the longest few minutes of her life. It would be the moment where William Herondale's life would be unwillingly revealed to her. It was a sick and disgraceful thing to do and she knew it was so terrible that it would be counted as a mortal sin, but she could not stop herself. She _needed_ to know.

The cool metal of his doorknob stung her hand and she twisted it hesitantly. The door cracked open, then she slipped through it and closed it behind her. The she turned around and just remembered where she was.

Will's bedroom was like every other bedroom in the Institute except for the fact that his belongings replaced the ones she would have on her own room. Other than that, it was neat which surprised her since she quite remembered how Sophie had talked of his untidy room once. Or, perhaps Sophie has already cleaned up his room that day.

Tessa stared at the room for a moment, letting the rapid beating of her heart slow down even for a fraction. Then, she made her way to his desk.

She picked up something that looked valuable and personal to him and, hesitantly, closed her eyes and willed herself to Change.

His soul was hard to grasp. She tried and tried to reach for it but every time she caught hold of it, she felt a cold wave shake her and she would let go unwillingly. But, she did not let herself give up so easily and tried once more.

Finally, she had managed to not let go and she quickly wrapped it around her before her hands would jerk back as it had done before, thus leaving her to try again.

After she finished, Tessa felt the similar rippling sensation she felt every time she Changed into someone else's body, fit into someone else's skin. Suddenly, she felt her curls disappear, the pins holding them in place dropping to the floor and she opened her once was closed eyes and saw his hands. She had done it, but the fire wasn't doused yet. There was one more thing to do.

She closed her- well, his -eyes once more and let herself absorb his life.

And she wished she didn't.

Frightening memories rose up on her like a big tidal wave, their enormity threatening to crush her. She saw the very things that made him who he was. Something involving a box... his parents... and something dark and twisted that clawed at her- Will's -heart. Something that made Tessa stagger back as she felt her breath get knocked out of her. Then, she saw and understood the night on the attic and she had to hold on to the desk for support or else she would have fallen to the floor. Everything she saw right then made her understand. It made her die inside as well. It also hurt for her to watch. Hurt her so much that she started crying. But, she didn't hear the familiar sound of her sobbing. She heard his broken one and that made her cry more and she had to put _his_ hand over _his_ mouth to stop the screaming that was threatening to escape her throat. She didn't want to hear him scream.

She thought he was an indestructible diamond, but it seems as if the strongest things on this earth are still breakable. Will was broken. He had been for a long time.

She heard the sound of the doorknob turning and she gasped as she turned around and met his eyes. The item she used to Change into him dropped to the floor as she felt her curls against her neck once more and feel the familiar smoothness of her hands.

For a moment, none of them said anything or did anything. She stared at him, he stared at her. They were both expressionless.

Then he shut the door to his bedroom and strode towards her. He gripped her shoulders and shook her. 'What did you do?' He whispered ferociously against her ear, his fingers digging into her skin too hard. 'Tessa Gray. What did you _do_?' His eyes were a frozen ocean and he looked more than angry.

He looked furious.

Memories rose behind her eyes and Tessa opened her mouth to speak, to explain. But no words came out. Instead, a sob did and her eyes brimmed with uncontrollable tears as she shook in fear. It wasn't fear of who he was, but it was in fear of what her rash decisions will lead to. She wished deep inside her she never followed her idea. She also cried because she felt sad for him. For those few moments, she felt his pain and it was the most painful thing she had ever felt in her entire life. More painful than his words to her. It felt like something was tearing her heart, burning it and stabbing it all at the same time. She felt hopeless and afraid. She felt unworthy and inhuman. 'I tried my very best to keep you away from me.' He started mumbling softly, almost inaudibly. 'Now, do you understand why?' She nodded as her hands gripped his shirt. Then he let go of her shoulders and gripped her wrists, prying her hands away from him.

That gesture only brought a stabbing pain to her heart. '_No_...' She trailed off as her sobs turned into frantic pleading. '_Please don't. _Don't do this.' She whimpered.

He had succeeded in keeping a good distance between them and Tessa could only keep crying. 'Tess,' the very name made her want to scream, but she swallowed it down, 'you cannot carry my burden. It is far too heavy. I do not want to see you suffering the way I am suffering. You don't deserve that.' His tone was pleading too and Tessa blinked the tears out of her eyes to look up at him.

His face was a mask. There were no emotions. Tessa shook her head as she tried to embrace him, but she was failing. There were only a few metres apart, but it felt like the entire Atlantic separated them. 'Tess, _stop_.' He whispered as he looked down, his black hair covering his eyes.

'No!' She said out loud and his head snapped up. An emotion finally appeared. Surprise. Tessa pulled her wrists away from his grasp and he happily let her go. Then, she looked at him. 'You-' she pointed an accusing finger at him, '-deserve happiness! Do not think you don't! Just because of what happened in the past... That doesn't mean you have to punish yourself by being reckless or making sure everyone hated you. That doesn't mean you have to punish yourself by not being with me even if you want to!' His eyes widened and Tessa took advantage of his shock and crossed the ocean separating them and embraced him. The sound of his beating heart comforted her and the tears that spilled out of her eyes soaked his shirt. 'You're just seventeen. You still have a long life ahead of you. Long enough to forget the ghosts of your past and embrace the future. _You haven't lost everything_!' They stood like that for a few more seconds. She hugging him and he, unresponsive.

Then he wrapped his arms around her too and she sighed against him. Suddenly, her hair felt wet and she thought he must be crying to. It was the second time he had cried in his entire life. The first was during 'the incident' and today was the second. 'You're a good person. Don't deny yourself that.' His chest rose and fell and his breath sounded shaky. 'Even if you're already a broken diamond, you're still worth something.' She started crying against his shirt once more.

'What are you nattering on about, Tess?' The girl's heart lifted as she could heard him smile. Another moment of silence passed, but his next words broke them. 'You're my future. I'm sure you didn't know that. I just realised it myself.' He sighed heavily and he rubbed her back comfortingly. 'I'm sure you also knew about Magnus and what we agreed on.'

'That's what you're doing lately. See, you're helping me even if your purpose was to keep me away.' He laughed silently and genuinely. It has been a long time since he laughed like that. 'You're also helping Jem.'

'That's enough, Tess.' He whispered. 'You haven't convinced me,' she froze at his words and thought that was the end of it. She thought that he would fall into his usual silence. She thought that they would go back to avoiding each other once more. She didn't want that.

Then, she realised he hasn't finished. 'But you gave me hope.' Then he pulled back, but this time she wasn't afraid. She knew that he wouldn't leave her anymore. It was as if she could read his thoughts. It was funny how, a few moments ago, he was an enigma. But now, she knew him like the back of her hand. 'Although, that was very rude of you to Change into me.'

She apologised as she looked up at him. Then, she cracked a smile at the light in his eyes and how his face seemed relieved of his burden. Although, he wasn't smiling. He looked serious. 'Don't smile. It's not funny.' Tessa's head hung in shame and Will's fingers met her chin and pulled her face up. His serious expression had lifted and he was smiling. Smiling simply because he was happy. It looked strange on his face, but at the same time, it was a good thing. 'Anyone could have walked into this room while you were Changed into me. Anyone.

'And they would have seen me. In a dress. Now what would that imply?'

_The virtue of angels is that they cannot deteriorate; their flaw is that they cannot improve. Man's flaw is that he can deteriorate; and his virtue is that he can improve._ —The Talmud


End file.
